Tavita: Over it

I’m exhausted.  Emotionally.  Everything is a rollercoaster – Me and Moka, The competition, Api (I HATE that pukio).  You know those days when it’s just all too much…? Yeah today was definitely one of them.  We scraped through to the semis.  But we always seem to be doing that – BARELY scraping through, JUST making it – for once I’d love us to excel… to exceed all expectations – I’m talking about everything now too, even Moka – does she want me? Is she using me?? what the hell is she playing at?? I don’t know what to do… do I tell her to F off? Do I give her an ultimatum? I still have all these feelings for her but I just seem stuck… and the hardest thing about it all is that I can’t talk to anyone about it – SHE is the one I talk to about my problems – and now she IS the problem.  Dammit.

We’re in the semis now – so now what?? That dick Api… I don’t even want to waste my breath but he has got it coming so bad.  Even thinking he has a chance with Losa too – as if.  Losa would be the first one to send him to hospital if he ever touched her.  Dick. Okay well I just about broke my keyboard writing that entry so yeah I’m gonna go for a run now to clear my head.  I seriously hope things start looking up cos I’m over feeling like this.

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